yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
