are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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