whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize