i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
