I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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