You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize