I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
