chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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