You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
FUCK WHALES
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
