hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this beer tastes like vomit already
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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