he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.