Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
