you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
