they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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