my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
