Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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