We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
