i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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