Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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