This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
