How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
