when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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