We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
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It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize