K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
