The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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