Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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