i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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