the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..