If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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