In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
