She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
