Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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