I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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