She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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