Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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