Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
