bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I supernannyed him into submission
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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