After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
