Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
