you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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