careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
