FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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