Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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