I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
