We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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