If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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