Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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