All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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