Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
