My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
foreskin is a definite game changer
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK