He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
