I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
