he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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