I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
